watching TV, playing games on your phone, resting with a weighted blanket, doodling, taking a walk). What do you need in order to stay regulated and enjoy yourself? No loud music or bright lights? A safe room you can retreat to for a break? It might be helpful to share what you do to relax (e.g. Here are some good talking points to keep in mind: Hopefully they’re someone you feel comfortable having a dialogue with, so you can inform them about any accommodations you may need and what to expect on the day of. Check out our list of 5 expert tips below for navigating family gatherings without masking or meltdowns. Maybe you’d like to feel more understood and connected when you’re with your loved ones. Maybe you wish you knew more effective ways to communicate your needs or get accommodations. If you’re an autistic teen or adult, you’ve probably already had your fair share of stressful family gatherings in the past. Andrew wouldn't be like the Andrew I know and love if he was different, because autism is his whole personality.Family gatherings should be a joyful experience, but for many people with autism, they can be overwhelming, causing discomfort and dysregulation. "I don't think I'd change anything, 'cause this is my life and this is what I'm used to. "But then the times when I'm actually appreciating things and I'm not in the moment when I'm steaming mad, I do appreciate what I have." "Sometimes, if I get really frustrated, I just wish I could change everything: Sell him to the zoo and buy new parents," Marissa says. "I was mad because no one can beat up my brother except me." "I smacked him across the face and he was cornered, and my face I'm sure was beet-red, and I was like, 'Just do it again and I'll punch you right in your mouth,' " Marissa says. Andrew ran into the house crying, and when Marissa found out what happened, she chased the boy down the street and cornered him. Andrew tried to shield himself with cardboard, but a rock flew over the cardboard and hit him in the head. One day, she says, a boy was throwing rocks at Andrew. Marissa says she has seen kids tease Andrew, and it's not unusual at his age. But if I interrupt him, he gets mad and then it turns into a tantrum and my mom gets mad, and I'm just like, 'I don't even want to talk to you guys anymore.' " I can sit down and talk with my parents, but a lot of times, it's like Andrew's always trying to explain something about a cheetah or a jaguar or something in the jungle that has no importance on anyone's life. "I'd stay outside or at a friend's as late as I could until my mom called me home. "I started staying away from home around 5 or 6," she says. Marissa says she stays out with her friends until her curfew so she can avoid dealing with her brother's disability. I know he'd never touch me with it, but when he's running with a knife pointed towards me and I'm running, if he tripped, then something bad could happen." "He freaks out, like if I won't get out of the bathroom and I tell him to shut up, he'll grab a kitchen knife and come over to the door and open the door and chase me around the house with a knife. "Because socially he needs help, so I have to protect him and be there for him more than a normal big sister would," she says. "He moves his hands back and forth and he'll walk with his hands down by his sides just shaking his hands and he likes to crack his knuckles when he's nervous, and he'll keep doing the movement even if they don't crack."Īs Marissa says, their sibling relationship is different from "two normal siblings" because of his autism. People can tell Andrew has a disability because of his hand gestures and the way he moves when he gets nervous. "He'll tell anybody information about an animal, whether they want to hear it or not.
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